I was at my church life group last week and we were discussing faith and deeds and how what we think does not always translate to how we act. Jeff, one of my best friends over the last twenty-five years made the following statement, “Truth is forgettable if not put on display.”
Now if you knew Jeff, you would know that even when you don’t really understand what he said, there is almost always some buried wisdom in his comments. And the confusion is rarely on his part. He is just one of those deep thinkers that finds a deeper meaning in anything. This was no different and like I often do, I asked him to repeat it. I knew it was good, I just didn’t fully grasp it the first time around.
“Truth is forgettable if not put on display.” Genius! Right or wrong, typically what we individually believe to be true is our truth. I believe that there is good in everyone. Sometimes it doesn’t appear that way on the outside but as a professional coach with a psychology background, I know that most negative behavior has an underlying cause.
Jeff’s statement stuck with me right a way. Why is it so hard sometimes to act on the outside like we feel on the inside? We know what is true but if we don’t live it, it is easily forgotten and life simply proceeds under false pretense. I am not suggesting dishonesty or lack of integrity, but would question our authenticity and transparency.
Truth in it’s purest sense is perfect. There is no doubting the truth and there is not much to question when speaking the truth. So why do we work so hard in our culture to hide it, twist it, manipulate it or even sometime totally ignore it? My simple response is that sometimes the truth hurts and by nature, we like to avoid pain.
Here are five areas of our life that can be impacted by truth:
1. RELATIONSHIPS
Relationships are built on things like trust and respect. They are strengthened by honesty and openness. All these things are founded on truth. Sometimes the truth is the most difficult thing to say but it is the only way to honor and value your relationships. In the end, truth always wins out.
2. COMMUNICATION
Have you ever considered how much effort it takes to avoid the truth in a conversation? Better yet, what it takes to try and remember what was said at the time of fabrication. There is a lot to be said about the idea that “you never have to remember the story you told when you told the truth.”
3. CHARACTER
Do you know someone who you can trust to always tell the truth? Do you know someone who never seems to tell the truth? Which one of these would you consider more a person of character? Enough said!
4. COURAGE
Yes, sometimes the truth hurts and in many cases, telling the truth takes courage. If the truth hurts, it usually means there is something that needs to be fixed or repaired. If you don’t have the guts to bring it to the table to begin with, you are only putting off a more difficult challenge later.
5. HAPPINESS
Hiding the truth will always result in carrying an unnecessary weight around until it is dealt with. Some are bigger than others but at the end of the day, this burden is going to effect our level of happiness. Life is hard enough as it is, why carry around additional baggage that will have to eventually be resolved anyway.
Everyone of us is carrying around some of this baggage and whether it’s big or small doesn’t really matter. The bottom line is that it is impacting every one of the items I discussed above. Truth is forgettable, but only in our mind – eventually it will come back to the surface. Remember when you were a kid and your mother told you “that it’s always better to tell the truth?” Well, she was right.
You know the truth on the inside, now start wearing it on the outside. It will not always be easy and sometimes it will hurt, but it will always be the right thing to do.
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Barry Smith www.buildingwhatmatters.com 11/19/12 Photo by author
