The Law of Modeling says that “It’s hard to Improve When You Have No One but Yourself to Follow.”  Who do you look to as a role model?  Is it someone who has achieved financial security?  Maybe it’s someone who has a good family life. Perhaps it is someone that has a good reputation in the community.

It does not matter how successful you are and in what area, there is always potential to do even more and achieve new levels of success.  It has been said that you will become the product of the five people you spend the most time with and the books you read.  That being said, you may already have the answer to the question of who your role models are.

So now comes the time to evaluate whether or not these “role models” are going to take you to the next level.  Are these people going to help you grow in a positive way or are they going to hold you back, or even worse, pull you down?  This may be a difficult challenge.  There may be people in your life that are important to you but are doing nothing to help you reach your potential.

What you should really be looking for is one or more mentors.  Someone who is willing to both teach you and coach you towards a desired outcome and lead by example. John Maxwell in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth gives us six things to consider when determining someone we should be following:

1.  A GOOD MENTOR IS A WORTHY EXAMPLE

Any role model you have or seek to have should be an example of what you desire to be.  That being said, remember we may want to be like someone but you need to be yourself.  There is a difference between being like someone and acting like someone.

2.  A GOOD MENTOR IS AVAILABLE

If you are reading someone’s book, this probably won’t apply.  If you are looking for a mentor, consider their availability.  This is going to be someone that you may want to schedule time with or need to make an occasional phone call when an issue comes up.

3.  A GOOD MENTOR HAS PROVEN EXPERIENCE

Does your mentor have a good track record performing the type of support you are looking for.  If someone has demonstrated positive results over an extended amount of time, chances are good that they will help you in your journey.

4.  A GOOD MENTOR POSSESSES WISDOM

Good decisions are key to successfully moving forward in any endeavor.  Wisdom typically comes from experience.  Has this person succeeded in the areas you want to improve?

5.  A GOOD MENTOR PROVIDES FRIENDSHIP AND SUPPORT

Chances are that if you are close to someone, you would consider them a friend.  Friends support and encourage each other.  Look for someone that you can connect with outside of a mentoring relationship.

6.  A GOOD MENTOR IS A COACH WHO MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN PEOPLE’S LIVES

Have the people you are looking up to helped other people?  Do they positively influence others in your community?  Look for someone that has helped other people move towards their potential.  There is no reason not to call other people that this person has worked with to see how they have influenced them.

Just like the law states, we can’t do it alone.  Whatever you are doing or attempting to do, someone else has done it before you and done it better.  A big part of personal growth is finding someone to help you along the way.  Choose carefully, that person just may change your life.

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Next Up:  Law #14  The Law of Expansion.

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   1/2/13       photo by author