Father’s Day is almost over as I write this, at least the “official” one day a year on the calendar that we dedicate to fathers.  As a father’s day gift, my wife Michelle, made reservations at at one of our favorite locations in the Columbia River Gorge.  On Saturday afternoon the two of us, along with our oldest son Scott, went on an afternoon hike along the Pacific Coast Trail (PCT) on the Washington side of the Columbia River.  The picture’s in this post are actual pictures of Scott and I taken by Michelle along the way.

Sometimes when Michelle and I hike – no, I better say most of the time, I drive her crazy because I continually stop for various reasons that include looking at the view, taking pictures, listening to the wind blow or basically anything else that will prolong our arrival to the destination.  Saturday was no different, although there was a new twist on my daydreaming.  You see, I had several opportunities to watch my son (now 21) walk along the trail with no idea where he was going.  Not unlike most of his life, dad had planned the journey for the hike today and he knew he would simply follow the leader and eventually arrive at the destination.

This is what got me really thinking.  Are we just playing “Father the Leader” or are we legitimately being a leader as a father?  As a father, how much do we invest in planning the journey?  What is the destination?  Do we simply tell our kids the destination and let them figure out how to get their?  

Today is the day in which all over the nation, fathers are honored for what … have we really done something honorable by producing an offspring?  I suggest that Father’s Day should be a day in which we honor those father’s who have invested time and energy in the growth of their kids and those that have provided a positive influence in helping them to grow up into responsible members our our communities.

Maybe you think I am being a little harsh, but in all seriousness, this nation is starving for positive role models for our kids and to be quite honest and in many cases, the father is the last person these kid’s need to be influencing them.  Gentlemen, (I am speaking to all fathers here) I believe we all need to step our game up related to leading our kids.  It is time to quit playing “Father the Leader” and become one.

If you are a Dad and are reading this, ask yourselves these questions:

• Do I give my kids enough of my time?
• Do my kids know that I believe in them?
• Have I given my kids a reason to believe in me?
• Do my kids know that I love them and have I verbally told them this?  
• Have I honored their mother in my actions to set an example of how they should act?
• Are my actions those of a positive role model?
• Is the influence that I have on my kids making a positive difference in their life?

Father’s Day should not only be a day to celebrate fathers for being fathers but also a reminder of what our role as a father is.  For our sons, we need to teach them how to be fathers and husbands themselves someday and what it means to be a father by action and not by definition.  For our daughters, we need to give them a legitimate example of what they should look for in their future relationships with the male gender.   We should demonstrate respect and be men of integrity and character.

I do not profess to have been the perfect father by any stretch of the imagination, but I have learned this as the father of two young men.  The picture we paint for them during their developmental years, is one that they will use as the framework in creating their own identity as a father and husband.  What kind of picture are you painting?

I do not typically request that you forward my posts, but I would ask that if you know a father that might benefit from the ideas represented above, that you would consider sharing this with them.  This may be your opportunity to make a difference.

Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   6/17/12