We have all heard the phrase “curiosity killed the cat.” This usually refers to the idea that cats, being curious by nature, find themselves in various predicaments that will result in their untimely demise.
I am not going to suggest that this has never really happened to a cat, but at the end of the day, I think the cat has the right approach. Consider this … if you never questioned the way things are, would you ever be prompted to make a change?
As a coach, I am a proponent of the open ended, “curious” question. Why? Because the curious question facilitates the idea that there is something more, something different. The idea of asking curious questions is to promote new thinking.
I subscribe to the idea that all people have the answers that they are seeking within themselves. The basic problem is that they are not asking the right questions. Let’s take a look how the progression of asking questions takes place.
I CAN’T
Many people take the easy way out when thinking about change and simply concede that they “can’t.” Let’s be honest. “I can’t” is very short and simple. Change requires work and work requires time and time is what we all say we don’t have any more of. Saying “I can’t” is the quick way to make life simple and move on. The problem with “I can’t” is that it is basically saying “I accept where I am and have no intent of doing any more.”
I CAN
Outstanding! You have accepted the fundamental idea that you can achieve something. Now what? Saying “I can” is a great start, but it does not represent any kind of commitment and rarely leads to any real level of success. “I can” is a first step, but a first step only get’s you pointed in the right direction. You need to step to the line of intention and then step over that line.
HOW CAN I?
Notice the question mark? Asking “how can I’ is completely different that the statement “I can’t” or “I can.” “How can I” requires a follow up response. “How can I” requires an answer. Asking that question suggests that you are curious as to how to do something. It doesn’t matter what it is – answering the question will provide a path to move in a forward direction.
Back to the cat. We live in a rural area and have had numerous cats over the last 17 years. We got two kittens, Leo and Dipstick, from some friends shortly after we moved to the country. We have probably had over a dozen cats during that time and the only one remaining is Leo.
Leo is winding down his life but his curiosity over time has been inspirational to me. Based on his battle scars, it is clear to me that he never backed away from curiosity. Yes, he got in numerous fights with who knows what, but he is still here today.
The point – Leo never let the potential to experience something new hold him back. Curiosity might have almost killed him more than once, but he went for it anyway. He lived life to the extent that a cat can and I think this is a great lesson for us all.
Are you afraid the do something that you are curious about? Have you accepted your current condition? I don ‘t speak cat, but if I could have a conversation with Leo, I think he would tell me that he spent his life asking “How can I.”
My encouragement today: Get curious! Quit thinking that “I can” is a victory and start asking “How can I?’ and then answer the question.
***********************************************************************
Don’t miss a single post in this series from Building What Matters by subscribing at the top left of this page.
For more information on my next Deeper Path Cohort click here
Help support us by clicking here and Liking our facebook page
Barry Smith www.buildingwhatmatters.com 4/15/13 photo by author
I like your perspective on this Barry. When I hear myself say “I can’t,” I’ve started revisiting that and realizing that it’s not necessarily “I can’t,” but it might be “I’m not ready” or “I choose not to pursue this right now.”
I’m going to start asking “How can I?” and see what bubbles up. Thanks for the inspiration.
~Debra
Thanks Debra. Timing is clearly important and I think knowing “how can I” helps to determine when it is the right time. Great insight!
I love the transition from I CAN to HOW CAN I? Just reading it you can feel the shift in energy that occurs when making I CAN into a question of action. My husband is at the place of saying I CAN start my own business, now off to discuss HOW CAN I!! Thanks for the inspiration!
Good on you Jessica. Best of luck to you and your husband as you determine “How You Can!”
what a lovely post…I am going to write on a sticky note Turn I cant into How Can I….to remind self to not think or be negative.
Great idea Audrey. Put it where you will see it often and watch things change!
Great post & a way of looking at things I hadn’t thought of. Turning fear into curiosity is a fantastic suggestion. Now, I’ll be asking: How can I?
Thanks for the motivation. Glad we met via UBC. Cheers!
Right on Shelli. Give it a try – it works!
Friends call me a crazy cat lady, and yes, cats are very, very curious. But their curiosity is how they learn how to deal with the world! So it’s definitely a lesson we need to learn. Sure, it might kill us, but probably not! If we don’t get curious, we won’t go anywhere at all!
Exactly Gwynne. Curiosity does help to teach us how to deal with the world. Without trying new things, it will be difficult to learn new things. Thanks for the comment.
Your post always make me think deeper and challenge myself. Great one, Barry. Glad we met via UBC.
Likewise Carlana. Glad you are finding value in the posts!
I like that question – how can I? What a great way to approach each challenge. Your post ties in with mine about how I made it through my long life to achieve something in the end. Thanks for the visit.
Thanks Francene. You are a great example of why we should never give up in what we believe in.
And when we focus on curiosity–on being really curious–we are less judgmental. A bonus for being curious.
Great addition Jann. Funny how curiosity can impact our attitude. Thanks