Here we are – the final post dedicated to The Platform Builders Mastermind Study Group, 2013 Edition. Adversaries Into Allies – Win People Over Without Manipulation or Coercion, by Bob Burg, gives a fresh look into how we can influence others while maintaining our integrity and character.
Some of you probably recognize Burg as the co-author of The Go-Giver, but this one is all his and according to the author, his finest work – the book he was meant to write.
Burg starts out by introducing us to the idea of Ultimate Influence ==>the ability to get the results you want from others while making them feel genuinely good about themselves, about the process, and about you.
Burg suggests that Ultimate Influence is based on five key principles that occur on an ongoing basis. In this post, the final of four, we will take a deeper look into the fifth principle (5) Communicate With Tact and Empathy and The Character of Ultimate Influencers. Take a look at these and see if any of them might apply to your life.
5. Communicate With Tact and Empathy
- Tact – the Language of Strength – How often do you really consider how their other person will view your comments? Remember – set yourself up for success.
- The Beauty of Empathy – Whatever you do, make sure that they KNOW you know how they feel. If they don’t, it really doesn’t matter.
- Lead-in Phrases Pave the Way
- Deflection via the Parry
- Kind Words Regarding Your Competitors – Positive comments about your competitors is a sign of confidence and shows that you are focused on what you bring to the table, not what others don’t.
- Tact Does Not Equal Compromise
- Give Them a Back Door
- How to Say No Graciously and Effectively
- Don’t Tread On Me
- Turning Down an Offer, While Leaving Room for Another
- Dealing with an Interrupter
- The Ben Franklin Method for Winning People Over
- Dr. Franklin and Another Great Lesson in Communication
- Timing Rules!
- Make People Comfortable With You – Remember the saying “people do business with those that they know like and trust? People also do business with people they feel comfortable with.
- Collecting Money Owed You In A Winning Way
- Deliver the Right Message for Your Audience
- Seeking Forgiveness
- “Acknowledge Me!” – At the end of the day, people just want to feel valued. If they don’t think you value them, how can you expect it in return?
- Just Listen – Enough said!
The Character of Ultimate Influencers
- Stand Firm on Principle
- The Master of “Goodspeak” … and Influence
- Focus on Your Strengths but Don’t Ignore our Weaknesses
- Ignore Problems at Your Peril – There is no better way to get business or achieve success then to solve problems. Think about the job security!
- Why Top Influencers Build Strong Teams – Top leaders recognize that if they want to be ultimate influencers they need to build a team around them.
- Consistency – a Prime Ingredient of Trust
- Growing From Your Mistakes – Make every mistake an opportunity to learn. Failures and mistakes are part of any successful endeavor.
- Self-Correction – When Your Replay Shows You Fumbled
- Want to Be an Ultimate Influencer? Say Little and Do Much
Well, there is a taste of the thoughts and ideas found within this book. I encourage you to pick up a copy and fill in the stuff I left blank on your own. Some of the chapter headings listed above don’t make a lot of sense until you listen to Burg’s wisdom. Now is your chance!
This has been a tremendous way to close out the year in our Platform Builders mastermind studies. Watch for our new podcast series coming out in 2014 to expand our ability to share some great teachings from some great authors. Adversaries Into Allies is not just a book about bringing differing perspectives closer together, it is about communication.
Burg has done an amazing job at showing how when we are able to acknowledge “both sides of the beachball” we can increase our results and productivity. Just a simple suggestion today – when you are communicating with others, take a moment and try and take a look at the situation from their side. You would be amazed at the difference it can make.
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Barry Smith 1/5/14 photo courtesy of burg.com © Building What Matters 2014
