Expectations.  What does this word actually mean and how does it impact our lives?  Have you ever been disappointed because your expectations were not met?  Have you ever exceeded your expectations and felt overwhelmed with joy at the success?

I believe our expectations, what we expect to happen, have more impact on us that most of the other thoughts that go through our mind. Why?  Because we are emotional people.

One of the hats I have worn over the last 30 years is that of a construction estimator.  Some estimates are small only taking a few hours to complete and some are much longer, taking days or even weeks.

Early in my career, I had high expectations related to winning the bid based on the estimate.  I was connected to the outcome.  It wasn’t about doing a good job, it was about getting a job.  The construction industry is very competitive and I believe most contractors lose more than they win.  So if our expectation is to win, then we are disappointed more often than not.  Right?  Isn’t that how life is anyway?

OK, where am I going with this?  Here is where I am going – when our expectations are tied to the outcome, the outcome will determine our success and our attitude.  In other words, we are connected to an external motivator.

On the other hand, if our expectations are tied to our effort and our attitude, we are connected to an internal motivator.  This internal source is one that we control. External sources are controlled by other factors, most beyond our control.

So I offer up the two types of expectations:

HOPE – Expectations based on what you hope the outcome will be.

Let me stick with the estimating example here to explain.  If I put together an estimate and my expectation is that “I hope we are the successful bidder” I have limited my potential of success to outside factors.  Did someone else provide a lower estimate?  Was my estimate evaluated correctly?  Were any of the estimates even within budget and will the project even move forward?

You see my point?  This way of thinking connects us to the outcome and we hang in the balance, anxiously awaiting the outcome to see if we were successful.  We get word a week later that we were not the successful bidder and we feel deflated.  We failed.

BELIEF – Expectation based on what you believe the outcome will be.

Now let’s get to the winners equation.  If my expectations are based on doing the best I can on the estimate and the acceptance that that represents a successful effort, then I will be successful upon completing the estimate.  I am not connected to the outcome.  I am not influenced by the decisions or actions of others.

This type of thinking facilitates a positive attitude as well as building self-confidence in doing what we are supposed to do and doing as well as we possibly can.  Success is connected to the journey and not the destination.

“Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.”  –  Brian Tracy

I understand that in business and in life, there has to be some wins.  We certainly have to be somewhat connected to the outcome to move forward.  But this I know … a positive attitude and doing the best you can at what you do will inevitably lead to success.

So two questions for you today:   “Are your expectations based on what you hope will happen or on what you believe will happen?” and more importantly , “Are you connected to the outcome or are you creating it?”

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Barry Smith www.buildingwhatmatters.com 4/30/13  photo by author