It’s the beginning of the year and as we are accustomed to, blogs fill our inbox everyday giving the “right” way to achieve our goals.  I get it – new year, new plan, new outcome – right?  Well sometimes.

One of the great things about being a coach is that you get to collaborate with other coaches and mentors on a regular basis.  Honestly, I think having a coach or mentor – someone to hold you accountable – is the best way to achieve any goal.  Speaking from personal experience I can say that my results increase dramatically when I have someone holding me accountable to doing what I say I am going to do.

One of my mentors, Kary Oberbrunner, recently posted this on his Day Job to Dream Job blog:

The purpose of your dream is not in achieving the dream itself, but rather the person you become in the process of achieving it.

I think I heard something like this before but it clearly did not stick.  This time it did.  I get this now.  It makes so much sense.  It’s really no different for goals.  When the goal is the goal, the focus is on the destination.  When the goal is about changing who you are, the goal becomes the bi-product of the transformation you go through.

I Don’t Want To Be What I Used To Be!

Maybe it’s the transformation that I have gone through over the past few years in my own life that has brought clarity to this concept.  But now that I understand it, everything I do has more meaning.  And not just to me, but to those around me as well.

In Guatemala last June, John Maxwell told me that; “Once you get a taste of significance, you will never settle for success.” (Tweet This / Share on Facebook / Post to LinkedIn)  Think about that one for a minute!

OK, so why does any of this matter?  If you remember from an earlier post, I mentioned that today in National Quit Day.  The average day that most people give up on their New Year’s Resolutions.  Do you possibly think that the reason they give up is because they are focused on the destination and let’s be honest, how much change can possibly take place in ten days?

I Want To Be Who I Am Going To Be!

OK – Problem identified.  Now let’s get to the solution.  Here is my advice.  The next time you set a goal, use the one you set ten days ago if you want, spend some additional time writing down (YES, I SAID WRITING DOWN) the person you hope to become in achieving that goal.

We are ten days into 2014 and I will go out on a limb here and assume that most of you have made some type of list of the things you want to achieve this year.  My guess is very few of you have written down who you would like to become this year.

I Can’t Find The Easy Button

Are you going to measure the success of this year by how well you achieve your goals? What if you fail?  What if life happens and you simply can’t attain your goals because of your circumstances?

Here is the good news about focusing on the journey instead of the destination. Setting out to change yourself does not really have much to do with achieving the goal. We can learn through adversity and we can change during the difficult times.  We can grow every day in any situation.  It doesn’t matter what life throws at us.

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche may give the best goal setting advice there is.  The problem is that most people don’t get stronger.  They give up or simply change direction because “it makes more sense.”  

As far as I am concerned, this may be the most important question I ask this year. “Who do you want to become?”  How about a bonus question to celebrate National Quit Day?  “What will you do to become that person?”

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Barry Smith    1/10/14   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2014