Do you ever find yourself out of time and energy because you have spent everything you have trying to be everything to everyone? Most of us like to help out but at what point do we simply need to say NO?
I have learned (and am still learning) the hard way, when to say yes and when to say no. I think many of the mistakes I have made over time really come down to the fact that I was not very intentional about the decision I made.
One of my mentors recently told me that he always waits 24 hours before giving a yes or no answer. I acknowledge that some times this is not possible but if you really think it about it, most of the time you have the opportunity to say “let me get back to you.”
Taking the time to give the answer allows you to review your schedule and determine whether or not the yes is actually going to help or hurt your big picture. Let’s face it, most of us feel like we already don’t have any extra time so how can we even fit one more “yes” into the equation? Simply put, saying yes to something is saying no to something else. A quick yes does not allow time to determine who or what will get the no.
Here are some thoughts on what intentionally taking that 24 hours will get you:
- BALANCE – When you have more yes’s than no’s the scale will be tilted to heavy to one side. Evaluating the commitment that goes along with the yes may, in itself, provide you the answer.
- CREDIBILITY – Which would be more credible, the person who always says yes and completes half the things he commits to doing or the person who often says no but completes all the things he says yes to?
- FOCUS – Taking the time to answer yes or no will allow you to focus on the entire picture. There may be much more to yes that you originally thought about. The time to focus may enable you to clarify exactly what “yes” means.
- PROBLEM SOLVING – Sometimes there is an easier solution to the question. Taking some time may produce and answer to problem that does not even require you to say yes. I like this one – it makes me look smart and doesn’t use up much of my time!
- RESPECT – Following through when you say yes helps you to gain respect. Saying yes and failing to come through breaks down trust.
- PRODUCTIVITY – Do you ever find yourself starting something and then jumping onto your next yes before you finished the last one? Too many yes’s usually results in too many “I’m not done yet’s.”
- PLANNING – By now I hope you all realize that your life should be lived by a specific plan. Your personal GPS for life. Saying yes too often is like taking a trip and stopping at every store along the way. You will never reach your destination.
OK, is that enough reasons to call a timeout next time someone wants to add you to their agenda? It takes discipline to be intentional about when to say yes or no. The next time you have the choice to say yes or no, ask yourself this question …
“What will I be saying no to by saying yes?” The answer to that question just might give you the answer whether to say yes or no.
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Barry Smith www.buildingwhatmatters.com 3/25/13 photo by author
