Has anything bad ever happened to you? I know, dumb question. The real question is what did you do when it happened? How did you respond? If you have been reading my blog for very long, you know that I am always the first to admit when I was wrong. Mostly because I have more good examples of being wrong that being right. What can I say!
The fact is that things go wrong all the time. Sometimes they are by our own lack of good judgment and sometimes because of things completely beyond our control. Either way, we have to deal with it. The question becomes “Will you respond or react?” Did you even realize there is a difference?
When we respond, it typically involves a well thought out action with a productive outcome. When we react, it typically involves little or no thought and produces a negative outcome. Darren Hardy said:
“Every decision, no matter how slight, alters the trajectory of your life.”
Think back to the last time you reacted and consider how the outcome might have been different had you responded instead. I actually witnessed the driver of this truck try and put out the fire with a towel. Luckily for him, common sense took over sooner than later.
Here are five things you gain when responding instead of reacting:
1. Opportunity to Delegate
I realize that part of leadership is handling problems effectively. That doesn’t mean that we have to deal with all of them. Delegate when you can and save your time for the things that can only be done by you.
2. Protect Your Integrity and Character
Reacting can result in making decisions that you regret, sometimes to the extent of compromising your integrity or character. Responding allows you the time to consider how your action will appear to others.
3. Plan Your Action
Quite often, the solution is going to require more than just a quick fix. If multiple steps are required to do it right, plan the work and work the plan.
4. Ability to Solve the Problem Instead of Changing the Circumstance
This is a big one. Many times, there are several factors that have led up to the problem. Putting out a fire does not necessarily eliminate the factors that caused it. We need to take a hard look at the big picture and make sure that we are not just putting a band-aid on a bigger problem.
5. Collaborate with Someone More Qualified to Make the Decision
We like to think that we can offer a solution to anything. When we really think about it, there is probably someone that is better qualified in solving a particular problem than we are. When it’s possible, seek the advice of others and possible even collaborate with a selected team to determine how to respond.
At the end of the day, how we deal with problems is going to say a lot about who we are. Do people view you as someone who responds well or reacts poorly. The answer may be found in how you answered this question.
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Barry Smith www.buildingwhatmatters.com 10/5/12 photo by author
Thanks Barry,
The ability to be in the moment and just notice without reacting is powerful and contributes to living a peaceful life. Enjoyed your take on it.
Thanks Serena. Our challenge, at least mine, is to respond more and react less. I think your use of the word peaceful becomes very real through the process of responding.
Hi Barry,
This is a great article and I have to say, it can be challenging for me not to react instead of respond. That’s why this article is really of value.
This was such an informative easy-to-read but thorough review of a sometimes complex response. I like #1…opportunity to delegate and quite frankly hadn’t thought of that. I also liked #5…collaborate with someone more qualified to make the decision. This could certainly pertain to personal life as well as business.
Very well done and thanks for the share!
Brenda Ellison-MyInfoSnap
Thanks Brenda. They all have their place depending on the situation. I think the key is to start using them more often. Then we our response becomes more natural. I admit, the toughest part is usually the first 5 seconds after something goes wrong. If I could just make it through that first 5!
responding well and reacting well are both important. I use to respond better then reacting well but after raising 3 teenagers I also learned the reacting part was just as important as the responding part. I just think its more difficult.
Great point Shawn. I believe that as we develop better “respond skills” our “react” becomes more productive. Raising two teenage boys myself, I totally get where you are coming from.
Totally agree with you, Barry. Great advice. I’m very much a “how can I help” kind of gal. Part of why I so miss no longer owning my horse. Spend 7 years as a volunteer deputy on Sanilac Co (MI) Sheriff Posse. Training with Detroit Mounted Police was WAY outside my comfort zone. But I did it because I believe leadership counts.
Well done Kathy. Many times it the things that we don’t think we can do or “do afraid” provide the greatest return.
Thanks Barry for the reminder, responding is so important to move in the right direction in solving issues where reacting is good as well but it can also complicate things if your not careful. Look forward to Wednesday and you do a great job. ” BE ALL YOU CAN BE “