Have you ever heard the phrase “if you want it bad enough, you will find a way?” How about, “With a strong enough why, you will find a way.” I am sure there are plenty more that mean basically the same thing. OK, so what? What’s the point?
That is exactly the point. If you don’t know what I mean, then you have missed the entire point. Look at the successful people that you know. How bad did they want it? If you don’t know, ask them. When I say success, I don’t necessarily mean financial success. It could be anything – but that anything is going to be the thing that they really wanted, that they wanted bad enough.
I have been able to talk with a lot of people over the last few years. Many very successful and many still looking. I believe the difference is in being clear on what they want, not how hard they are willing to work. I know numerous people that work very hard and are not even close to having what they want. So what is the difference?
When I was younger and our boys were growing up, I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted to provide for my family and provide for all their needs and even mix in a few “wants” to provide some added stability and security. Then something happened.
Our oldest headed off to college and my wife, a career stay at home mom to that point, started a career as a real estate broker. Over the next few years, with the added income and the empty nest soon to be upon us, I started to lose the why behind what I was doing. I started losing focus on what I really wanted.
Most of you know this part of this story. I started a new career as a coach, speaker and trainer. As I created this new identity and crafted the trade, I began to once again, find the driving force, the reason to persevere to make it in this new world. Now that I am fully engaged in this new profession and have added the label author to the mix as well, I once again can honestly say that I have the drive to do whatever it takes to reach my goals.
It has not been easy and it has taken time to complete the transformation, but now I see how the ability to persevere through the difficult times is really the one thing that will empower you to get there.
So what does all this mean? Simple, now that I have learned from the heartache and the struggle. Being clear on your why, will provide a way. It is crystal clear to me when I examine those individuals I would consider “successful.” If you don’t believe me, take a look around.
I spent too many years “in-between” and quite honestly, I never even knew it. Hindsight is 20/20 but I don’t want you to have to learn the hard way like I did. So a few questions and a challenge and these ones really count.
What do you really want in life? And why do you want it? Be careful how you answer that second question – remember what I said earlier – a strong enough why will produce a way [tweet this]. Another way to look at it courtesy of John Maxwell; “If you have lost your why, you will lose your way.” So here is the challenge; take some time and figure out the answer to those questions and put it to the test. If you are not finding the success you are looking for, you may not have a strong enough why to persevere through the difficult times.
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Barry Smith 11/16/13 photo by author © Building What Matters 2013
Very well said Barry. So well outlined from your real life experience! Love the journey you are on!
Thanks Patti. We are all on a journey – some of us just have a better idea than others where we are headed and why.
I loved your post Barry, mostly because it resonates with the story of my life. I want to be a meaningful change that inspires others to service. I want is because the world so desperately needs direction, a direction that matters. Thank you for sharing this gem with us.
Thanks Kimunya and you are doing a great job already making a difference in the lives of others. Keep doing what you’re doing my friend!
Such a great post Barry. The word ‘perseverance’ is key on the journey to success. The test and the trials will come, but certainly by faith, one is able to overcome them and receive the reward at the end of them all.
Great summary of the process Yvonne. I love how you point out that the reward comes at the end. It’s true, too many people, for many different reasons, give up at some point along the way.
Barry; Thanks for the reminder of the cost for reaching what we really want.Perseverance is just one of those keys and we can not get it without also a willingness to invite the pain and discomfort of the journey especially since many times the path to our dream is not always the straightest; the larger the desire the more perseverance is required. Keep being a light for many as they seek to find their way.
Thank you Martyn. You make a solid point – the path to our dream is seldom a straight line. Clarity and focus will help us stay the course, even if we encounter occasional roadblocks along the way.