Have you ever been told to stop asking questions? Being a coach has been one of the most fulfilling jobs I have ever held. The opportunity to unlock information within an individual, that has been locked up for an indefinite amount of time, is one of the most gratifying experiences I think one can ever feel.
How is this done? By simply asking questions. But not just any questions – the right questions. The coaching philosophy I was trained under suggests that the person being coached already has the answers within them and the “why” that drives them usually leads to the answer. The problem is that often times, the right question is not being asked.
I have found that the better the question, the better the answer. So why don’t we just ask better questions? I believe it is because we have so much information stuffed in our head with no time to empty it, that it basically covers up the good questions.
I was on a walk in the woods this weekend trying to clear my head and ask some of these “good” questions. Why? Because I want good answers. Remember how I said that our “why” is usually connected to those answers? Well as I was walking through the woods I saw a tree (see picture) that just happened to look like a giant “Y”.
Then I asked one of those good questions. “How could I use that Y as a reminder of my why?” And guess what – I got a good answer. Take a picture of it and set it as the background on my phone. That way whenever my phone rings with another distraction from someone who is more concerned about their schedule than mine, I will be reminded that I have a why.
My why overrides all the other stuff that fills my day. Now when the phone rings, I will be reminded that regardless of the distractions, I can remained focused on my why.
I guess by now you are probably wondering what my why is. There is a hint in the url at the top of this page. You see, my why is simply this … “Building What Matters.” Now I suppose you want to know what matters. PEOPLE MATTER!
I am clear on my vision and my purpose and thus I am clear on my why. I find it very interesting how many people don’t know what their why is. Maybe that’s why I enjoy coaching so much. Helping people find their why is like figuring out a very difficult puzzle.
Asking good questions helps to solve the puzzle. Some puzzles are more difficult than others but you still need to get enough of the pieces put together to see what the picture will look like. I know what you are thinking … All you have to do is look at the box and you will see what the picture looks like.
Here comes the money line … Your life doesn’t come with a box, at least not one you can see. The box is that thing inside your head called a brain. That’s where the picture is. Coaching helps put the picture together.
OK, that was fun. Now what? My suggestion … If you want to know your why, if you want to know what your life is supposed to look like, start asking better questions.
I found my why reminder while I was walking around in the woods. Where will you find yours?
***********************************************************************
Don’t miss a single post from Building What Matters by subscribing at the top left of this page.
Help support us by clicking here and Liking our facebook page
Barry Smith www.buildingwhatmatters.com 2/11/13 photo by author
