I used to believe that security came in an envelope every Friday. That envelope allowed me to pay the bills, put food on the table and even do some fun stuff every once and a while that would clearly fall under the want list and not the need list.
I don’t believe that anymore. Anyone who has paid any attention to anything over the last five years has seen people lose everything they had. Tough economy, poor investing, over-leveraging credit, fill in the blank. The bottom line is that people all around us, possible even you, have lost their assets and some would say their security.
The environment that we live in has taught us that the “accumulation of wealth” is the way to secure your future and the future of your children. Now I’m not going to pretend that wise investing and money in the bank are not good things but the problem comes when we believe that is what provides our security.
Life happens and we all know that what we have can disappear overnight. So where do we really find security? I believe we find it within. True security comes from knowing that outward circumstances will not control the world you live in.
I was meeting with a potential client earlier this week and I told him that short of something connected to the health and safety of my family, I believe there is really nothing that could happen that would significantly rattle my world. I stand by that statement.
My wife and I have been extremely blessed to have always been able to meet our needs. We have what we feel is a nice house in the country, our vehicles are paid for and we are able to pay the bills. But I recognize that as life goes sometimes, even those things could be gone tomorrow.
But the thing is, I don’t think it would that catastrophic if that happened. We both are very secure in who we are and are very unattached to what we have. Our security lies in who we are.
I admit, I have not always felt this way and I have no problem with those that value financial security. I guess what it comes down to is what is important to you. Sure I want to be debt free and financially independent but that’s not what makes me feel secure.
One of my favorite quoted from John Maxwell is “People won’t remember what you said and they won’t remember what you did. They will remember how you made them feel.” That’s where my security comes from. How I can make people feel. As long as I can do that and my family is safe and healthy, that’s all the security I need.
Look, you could be the richest person on earth but if your security is in the wealth, your missing out on what life is all about. I realize this is all my opinion, but I have been on both sides of this issue and being happy with who I am always wins out over being happy with what I have.
So the question is obvious; Where do you find your security?
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Barry Smith 6/28/13 photo by author © Building What Matters 2013
Years ago one of my mentors who made a very good living as a consultant was turned down for a mortgage loan. Following up with the head of the mortgage department my friend asked “To whom would you rather make a loan, the engineer at (the local blue chip company) that is about to get laid off and hasn’t looked for work in 15 years, or me who looks for and finds work every day?”
He got his mortgage loan.
And, your message is deeper than this story. I like it. Well done Barry. Thanks.
Love that story Christopher. What a great lesson. I find it interesting in what just a little shift in perspective can do. Thanks for the comment and the insight!
I was 19 when I burned down my parents house (by accident) We lost everything we had.
That experience, learned me the lesson you are writing here; yes we lost everything we had, the security became what we were. Because of that, the fire, is still in my top 5 of best things that ever happened to me. (It was NR one for about 10 years.)
y
What an amazing story Yves. Thanks for sharing here. I do have a question … You were 19 when it happened – how old were you when you realized it was a good thing?
Yet another thorough-bred from the “Barry Stables”!
The other day my wife asked our kids, “Are we poor? Do you think we should look for a bigger house?” Our eldest gave her that are-you-out-of-your-mind look. “No!” she exclaimed. “We have Jesus and each other. How can you even think we are poor? We would appreciate the space, but don’t care where we are as long as we are together,” she concluded.
I don’t know any father out there who wouldn’t walk with his head held high. It is not what we have, it is who we are. Our heart is what matters the most. I believe these comments follow a lot of effort my dear wife and I have put into bringing up our children. Our hope and prayer is that they carry this attitude throughout their lives.
Some time back, I wrote 2 posts on the value of fostering an identity in our children. The first is “What’s your name?” http://wp.me/p28gFh-4l while the second is a video post “Your family brand influences your child’s personal brand” http://wp.me/p28gFh-3z
I hope they help echo your words Barry, thank you for sharing this with us.
Thanks for connecting the story to your kids Kimunya. There is no more important place to focus our efforts than the children. How wonderful for you that your children recognize the value of family and relationships.