I posted a few weeks ago about my big aspirations for this year. I have been working for months developing a business plan that will accomplish many goals over the next twelve months. A big part of my success will depend on my ability to say “no.”
Many people reading this may have no problem saying no. I think those people are doing one of two things. They are either doing exactly what they want or they are doing nothing at all. I am not trying to offend anyone here, but think about it. Some people say no because saying yes would take them out of their comfort zone. These people probably have less stress in their lives, but they also, in my opinion, will never reach their potential.
Then there are the people that say no because they understand that the choice between yes and no is a simple choice of whether or not the decision will be conducive to them reaching their goals. The question of “why” plays a big part in reaching this clarity.
I know that I need to be able to say no if I am going to achieve my goals this year. This may seem pretty straight forward, but for me it has been something that has caused much grief and held me back from many things I have attempted to do. In the past, I have really struggled in this area. I have been accused of being, among other things, a fixer and a pleaser. On the surface, these seem like good things but the truth is that sometimes saying yes is the worst decision you can make.
Here are some great reasons why you need to learn how to say no:
BALANCE
My wife tells me all the time that the key to life is balance. I think I have finally realized the wisdom in this statement. Saying yes when you should be saying no tips the scale too far in the wrong direction. How can we expect to maintain balance in our life when we can’t control our own agenda?
COMMITMENT
This is a huge word for me. Full of good intentions most of my life has cost me. “Sure, I can do that.” “No problem, I should be able to fit that in.” Do I need to go on? These statements, although in a helpful spirit, have resulted in my failure to achieve the important things. The things that really matter like my family and my health.
STRESS
Does this sound familiar … “There are not enough hours in the day.” “If I only had a little more time.” These phrases really say the same thing to me – stress! Adding more things to our list than we can handle always results in stress.
PRODUCTIVITY
Have you ever wished that you could get more done every day? I haven’t since … well, since I got up this morning. We all want to be more productive and we all want to be successful in reaching our goals. Do you have enough time today to do the things that NEED to get done?
EMPOWERMENT
To me, this is the big one. One of my big desires in life to to empower others. To empower them to become who they were designed to be. I have come to realize that in order to do that, sometimes we need to say no. Often by saying yes, we do the opposite of empower, we enable.
The bottom line is this … the only person that has the ability to say no is you. Most of us fight this decision because we want to help. The fact is that in order to help others, we need to help ourselves first. Likewise, in order to lead others, we need to lead ourselves first.
Today’s challenge – Say “NO” to something that someone else can or should do themselves and focus on what you really need to be doing. What will you say “NO” to today?
***********************************************************************
Don’t miss a single post from Building What Matters by subscribing at the top left of this page.
Help support us by clicking here and Liking our facebook page
Barry Smith www.buildingwhatmatters.com 1/28/13 photo by author
