The Law of Trade-Offs says that “You Have To Give Up To Grow Up.” I never really understood this until the last few years. I had been making trade-offs thinking that the end result justified my actions. The problem was, I was trading in the wrong direction.
Most of the trade-offs I have made in my life did one of two things. One, they provided financial security for my family and two, they provided some down time for me to chill out.
Problem One … I put financial security before quality of life. Working long hours and doing whatever was necessary to make sure that the bills would be paid and a few bucks put away for a rainy day. The problem with this is that my best hours were used in the workplace, not my home.
Solution One … The ultimate job for a husband and father is to lead his family. I was trading my energy for a paycheck and basically was showing up at home out of gas. I am not there yet, but have a new strategy being put in place so that my best energy can be spent with the people that are most important to me – my family.
Problem Two … What little free time I had was usually spent in front of the television. I worked hard and I deserved some down time, right? That is what I used to think. Then I realized that there was not much time left for doing the things I should have been doing as a father and husband.
Solution Two … I won’t be as bold as to say I no longer watch television but it is on a much smaller scale. I now spend more time talking with my wife and am more aware of how important that it is that I invest my time wisely. I now spend much more time reading and writing and helping others to come to the same realizations that I have.
John Maxwell in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth makes five statements related to Trade-Offs worth making:
1. I AM WILLING TO GIVE UP FINANCIAL SECURITY TODAY FOR POTENTIAL TOMORROW.
Life is about so much more than financial success. Money may help you reach some of your goals but true satisfaction comes from who you are and how you feel about yourself not in what you have.
2. I AM WILLING TO GIVE UP IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION FOR PERSONAL GROWTH.
Growth does not happen in a day, it happens daily. Once we recognize and appreciate that it is a process, we can recognize success in each little step rather than thinking that we have to have it all now.
3. I AM WILLING TO GIVE UP THE FAST LIFE FOR THE GOOD LIFE.
I used to think that the more I got done and the faster I did it, the more successful I was. When I finally became aware of the fact that it was about quality and not quantity, it was easier to understand what was really important.
4. I AM WILLING TO GIVE UP SECURITY FOR SIGNIFICANCE.
The legacy I leave behind will mean much more than any possessions that I may acquire through my lifetime. I didn’t use to believe this but once I saw the impact I could have on other people’s lives, I understood the value of significance.
5. I AM WILLING TO GIVE UP ADDITION FOR MULTIPLICATION.
I think that I have always been the type of person that wanted to help others and I have tried to do that. Recently I learned that when I can help others to help others, I have the potential to help many more people collectively that I ever could alone.
We have to make choices every day. Compromise is a part of life.
The next time you have to choose between A and B, ask yourself “which choice will better move me forward to reaching my potential.”
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Barry Smith www.buildingwhatmatters.com 12/19/12 photo by author
