The competitive bidding process, sporting events, reality TV, job opportunities and more. All these things have something in common – a winner and a loser. Our culture teaches us that in most things we do, someone wins and someone loses. The victory only belongs to one person or team.
I used to think like that. Then I realized how much I was missing focusing on the prize, the win, the victory. It really is about the journey and not the destination. I believe that real victory comes from playing the game when you play to learn and not necessarily to win.
If you are nearing the half century mark, or older, can probably remember the ABC Wide World of Sports Commercial with the infamous words “Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport! The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat.”
- The thrill of victory – being excited because you are the winner.
- The agony of defeat – the pain of being the loser.
Is this really what life is about? I think it comes down to this …
- The thrill of victory – finding satisfaction from your hard work paying off and producing results.
- The agony of defeat – the frustration that all your hard work did not provide the outcome you were looking for.
I find myself questioning the real value in riding the emotional roller coaster of victory and defeat. Remember that guy who said; “it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.” Well he had it almost right. I don’t think “how you play the game” is enough. I think it comes down to what you learn from playing the game.
John Maxwell will be releasing his 74th book “Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn” in early October and the focus of the book – losing. Oh, did I say losing? Well that’s what some of you call it when you fail. This book is really about winning – winning by learning from your failures and maintaining a positive attitude while doing it.
You have three choices. You can win, you can lose, or you can learn. You see, you don’t have to lose any more. Although I am looking forward to John’s new book, I don’t need to read it to know that learning is better than losing. What it really comes down to is how I respond the the things I struggle with in my life.
I can be defeated or I can push through, get as close to “winning” as possible and learn from how I fell short so that I might improve next time. For me, it is really about growing. With the right attitude, we can grow more from our failures than we can from our successes.
I know that if I continue to grow everyday, through the good and the bad, I will succeed. John was asked what topic his new book falls under – leadership? personal growth? communication? His response – “attitude.”
This book is about attitude and when our attitude reflects our desire to learn and grow, we are much more likely to actually learn from our mistakes rather than let them keep us down or hold us back.
“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take the rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory not defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Life is much bigger than one single victory or win. We can learn every day and more importantly, we can learn even from the things we fail at.
My question today will require a little thinking on your part. What would you do if you knew you could not fail? And here is the challenge; DO IT!
***********************************************************************
SAVE THE DATE: On October 10th, John will be doing a WEBCAST to teach from his new book and introduce the Maxwell Leadership Assessment. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR THE WEBCAST
Don’t miss a single post from Building What Matters by subscribing at the top left of this page.
Help support us by clicking here and Liking our facebook page
Barry Smith 9/21/13 photo by author © Building What Matters 2013
I think if you knew you could not fail, your life would not be very broad and it would be boring due to the lack of learning by only doing the small area that you might not fail in. There is always the chance of failing even in what you are most experienced in because of many unknown things that could happen. If you want to learn, you need to explore and do the best you can and learn by mistakes along the way. I was always told that if your not making mistakes you are not learning.(or doing anything). There are so many opportunities in this world that you have to have a positive attitude and do your best. Thank You for your postings, I enjoy reading them.
Thanks Dennis. You are right. There are so many opportunities that pass us by just because we think we will fail. Great insight my friend.
I may not win from an event, but one thing I have purposed to do is to learn from the situation. For many years, it was a win or lose scenario. Now, it is more of a win/learn or learn opportunity. It is challenging to keep my head up especially when it is definite I’ll not win, but I thoroughly interrogate the situation and seek out what I need to focus on given another opportunity.
You make a great point Kimunya. It is challenging to keep our head up when we know “winning” is not one of the outcomes. By accepting that we can learn under any conditions gives us the confidence to go for it. Thanks for the added value!
I love this! As I was competing several years ago this was my experience. After a competition the first things folks would ask is “How did you do?” My response was always “I did good”…. their reply “Yeah but did you win?”. In my mind I always did win. I won because I got up on stage, having gone trough the prep process that took diligence, hard-work, discipline, and the perseverance to get there. After my first competition and trophy, it never again was about the win and the trophy. (I’ve got 6 staring at me right now, covered in dust) No, after that it became about the journey, about competing with myself, and about enjoying every minute, and learning from what worked and didn’t work- when you learn from it you win-the whole point of participating, not the trophy. Great post! Inspiring! Thank you!